Oversharing
I feel like we have entered this new world of full transparency. I mean FULL FULL transparency like there are absolutely no lines drawn between what we keep to ourselves and what we choose to share. It’s almost like when we don’t share every detail of every single thing in our life, we are portraying a “false” image. There’s so much pressure to be vulnerable, to be truthful, to share, to give, to confess….
As much as I love this new age of being comfortable to share the details of one’s life, I just question how that impacts a person in their own personal life.
It’s a beautiful thing in how we have reached this place that we can feel more comfortable sharing things in order to help others and resonate with each other, but there are limits to that.
If we don’t share every detail, we’re not truthful. If we don’t tell say what truly happens behind the scenes, then we’re creating a false image. It’s a lot of pressure to put on someone’s own personal hood. I definitely feel like a fraud when I’m not “confessing” to every struggle I deal with, but whose business is that anyway?
It’s this whole concept that has been pushed on through to us by social media of being “authentic”.
We have reached a place where we are no longer just sharing, we are over sharing big time and that is just as problematic as not sharing at all. We tell each other the good, the bad and the in-between, but all for what? I have concluded that it comes down to 1) the needing to connect 2) narcissism and 3) validation.
Let’s dissect each one by one. 1) The needing to connect is often why we turn to social media in the first place. If we can share something that resonates with someone else that immediately creates a special connection. This often happens when people are lonely or just wanting to create new relationships. 2) Narcissism influences a person to overshare because they might feel superior and have to prove something or want to show the world their superiority. 3) The need to have your feelings, experiences and thoughts validated by others to make you feel better. These are all reasons that compel us to over share and most of the time to a fault.
I think the main issue with over sharing is when costs us our own wellbeing. Being vulnerable and over sharing are very different. Vulnerability establishes personal boundaries in order to connect. Over sharing does the opposite. Over sharing is sharing personal stuff with an expected response and a way to take control of a particular narrative. When your expectations are not received, it leaves a person feeling hurt, embarrassed and exposed. It also starts to impact our immediate relationships with others in our own life beyond social media. We start to seek out the instant gratification of sharing something personal from the likes and comments, which only feed our ego and removes us from real intimate human face to face connection. That’s not always the case for everyone, but to then be sharing online, in your personal life and to be in your own thoughts leads to emotional fatigue.
As with everything in life, it all comes down to your intention of what you’re sharing. The next time you feel an urge to share something ask yourself why? Is it because you want to vent? You want to connect? You’re seeking an answer? ... there are so many different reasons why we choose to share certain things, so again just go back to you, and ask what is the purpose of me sharing this? It’s also important to set those boundaries with yourself and decide what you choose and not choose to share. Always make sure you’re checking in with yourself and making sure that it is okay with your soul.
