The Dark night of the soul
Currently going through a dark night of the soul and thought what a perfect time to write about it. I feel like people only write about things they have gone through after they have overcome it and not when they’re in the midst of it. I understand why, it’s because it’s always hard and scary to write or speak about something you are currently going through because you don’t know how it will end and might not have all the answers. I say that in this current state because I don’t have all the answers, and no one ever does but I do know what is true now and that is just as powerful.
So, what is the dark night of the soul? It is the journey one takes back to their inner and most true self, a journey into a deeper connection with yourself guided by your inner light. You can go in and out during certain phases in your life and after certain events. Some people go through it as a way of a nudge from the universe saying “something needs your attention” or after an emotionally or physically traumatic event. I think we all go through it at different points in our life as a way for our souls to realign with our true essence.
What brought it on in this current phase for me was a very soul traumatizing event. My very soul felt like it was ripped out of my body and thrown into so many directions that it has left me in internal chaos and constant anxiety. Trying to reassure my soul that it is safe, and it is in my body is not the easiest but again I write this to say that over my life, yes although still young, I have gone through many different dark nights of the soul phases and have gathered what helps me through them.
It’s so easy to tell someone to just show up for yourself and to give yourself love, but when you literally feel like you have nothing in you to give yourself anything, in my case literally feeling like my soul and body are so separated (complete dissociation), it can be very challenging.
I like to start with baby steps and when I say baby steps, I mean the tiniest little steps because trust me they do amount over time.
Numb out:
This is going to sound like not the best thing but doing it mindfully can be very helpful. It all comes down to you being honest with yourself and if you’re doing it to avoid your feelings or doing it to help you reach a better headspace to tackle on the emotions. Again, it comes down to you being truthful to yourself. Numbing is a great way to just pick yourself up a little by “distracting” your mind with something that will raise your spirits a little. You can have fun with this and watch your favorite movie/show, read a fun book, scroll on social media… whatever will clear up some headspace.
Embracing the emotions:
Grab a tissue box and keep it close to you. Let yourself feel EVERYTHING. I say baby steps but thinking about this now your emotions might be the hardest things to feel right now. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to scream, scream. Whatever and however you need to feel or express yourself, do that. If that means you’re sitting in bed crying all day, do that. You don’t need to identify your emotions right now. Just let the emotions run through you and release out of you however they want and what feels good to you.
Pen to Paper:
Why I can write this is because writing is my form of therapy. Next to the tissue box, keep a paper and pen. When you start to feel thoughts trickle around your head, write. Write whatever comes to mind whether it makes sense to you or not or whether it sounds “rational” or nor just write. Release the chaos and tension in your head onto paper. If you rather release it through other ways than sing, draw, create, just do what feels best for your own self-expression.
10 minutes of talking mind dump:
Some people call this exposure therapy, but as we have established earlier, not all dark nights of the soul are related to trauma. Speak your thoughts out loud every day to yourself for 10 minutes. Repeat the thought cycles over and over again because each time you will catch a different feeling come up and learn something new about why you are feeling the way you are about your current headspace. Answers will come to you, and you will start solving your “issues” on your own because yes you are very capable and knowing.
Go back to you:
Remember this is about you, it is YOUR soul’s journey. Whenever you find yourself projecting your emotions onto others or starting to put blame outwards go back to you. What are those emotions and what do they mean for your soul? What is your soul seeking? Ask yourself and listen for the answers. At the end of the day whatever you’re seeking from the outside can always be found on the inside. If you’re wanting more love from others, give yourself that love, if you want more abundance, find abundance within yourself.
Gift yourself:
This will be so different to every person because we all like different things. Do something for yourself and that means you and only you. Take yourself out for a date, buy yourself something you’ve been wanting, order in your favorite food, or even better make yourself something delicious. Do something that will fill you up with joy and love. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme but state that what you’re doing is a gift to yourself because it really does make a difference rather than just doing the thing. It’s about filling up your soul with goodness to help clear out what no longer serves it. Creating space for more love and builds up your confidence to tackle anything.
These are things that have worked for me. They are not all the things, but they are the ones that I find most easy to start with. I think through this all, the most important thing to keep in mind is to be kind with yourself, give yourself love and be patient with yourself. Soul work takes time and is an ever-going journey, but it doesn’t mean you have to struggle through it or “put in the work” 24/7. Living your life is part of the healing and expansion of the soul.
